Being in an interracial relationship

So a new found interest of mine is to browse the website Buzzfeed. I probably am on that site way more than I should be. Recently the site has had quite a few posts regarding interracial relationships. Interracial relationships can be defined in many different ways. While I prefer to use the term intercultural to define my relationship, interracial is just as applicable. One of the posts that caught my eye in particularly was a video outlining what it is like to be in an interracial relationship. The video depicts several different situations with an interracial couple.

I think the video does a good job at showing how normal an interracial relationship is. Couples, such as Abhi and I, go through many of the same ups and downs that any other couple would. However, the video also highlights other aspects of the relationship that are special to interracial relationships, such as having random strangers and friends telling you that you are going to have the cutest mixed babies. Umm, aren’t all babies cute and adorable??? What is going to make my baby any more special than someone else’s baby? And the looks! This was something that both Abhi and I were very self-conscious about when we first started dating. It is not unusual to be stared at and even thrown looks of disgust from others in public. Even though this still happens, it seems to be happening less and less. Perhaps it is that I have just grown accustomed to the looks that I don’t notice them anymore or perhaps it is because the number of interracial and intercultural couples is increasing so it is slowly becoming something others are used to.

Either way, looks or no looks, I love Abhi and Abhi loves me. The color of our skin or the culture from which we hail is simply a part of who we are, but it certainly doesn’t define us. In fact, we consider it our greatest asset. We both have the opportunity to learn a great deal about another culture that we may not have gotten to otherwise; not to mention the exploration of different cuisines on a regular basis!

I’d love for you to check out the video and tell me if you think it’s accurate. Are you in an interracial or intercultural relationship? Have you ever experienced the situations portrayed in the video? How have you dealt with them? What’s your advice to others looking to get into a relationship with someone from a different background?

 

3 Comments on “Being in an interracial relationship”

  1. it’s superfically accurate i guess. but of course a 2 minute video cant really show all the things/emotions that get stirred up when people comment on different-ness. my significant other and i are the opposite race-wise of you and abhi and I was told often, by my MIL that “indians always want to marry someone fair so that their kids will be whiter.” the FIRST time i met her. awwwwkward. lots of people say the mixed race baby thing to us too. most of my indian friends stopped talking to me after i got married because they thought i was no longer indian. My in-laws, while nice, still dont get anything cultural (food/events/news) outside the meat and potatoes worldview of their small town.

  2. Hey Jessica! I’m sorry I missed this when it came out. I like the video – yes, there are definitely some things that intercultural/interracial relationships face that are unique and the video did a good job of pointing that out. But not all these things are faced by every couple, nor are they faced to the same degree. Every relationship is unique; I love hearing viewpoints of people whose situations are similar to mine but I always keep in mind they are not the same.

    On one side of the spectrum is the idea that intercultural relationships are so fraught with differences that one must always be thinking about the cultural aspects or just not enter into the relationship at all; on the other side is the belief that there’s no difference at all between intercultural and same-culture relationships because we’re all people, right? But people don’t live at the extremes. We all live somewhere in the middle. If you refuse to acknowledge the unique influence your partner’s race and culture has had upon them (or assume that you will/should always come to the same conclusions because love), you will face problems in your relationship. Likewise, if you blame every argument on ‘cultural differences’ the same will happen. And if someone sees themselves as somehow different or more cultured/worldly or better than others because they are willing to be with someone who’s ‘soooo different,’ then I call into question whether it’s a legitimate relationship at all, or if it’s just wish fulfillment or a reflection on that person to be something other than they are.

    And I’m really, REALLY tired of the mixed babies comments. (Funny, in my experience they only come from white people.) It’s a little creepy, exotifying little babies… Like you, I’ve started saying “all babies are beautiful” but I think I am going to start throwing a “what makes you think that?” into the mix from time to time just to make people think. 🙂

  3. LOVE LOVE LOVE the video!!!! It is so accurate. We are just like everybody else….except the stares….and the “are you together?”…
    Totally sharing this. Thanks for posting this great find!

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